Three episodes of some of the most painful snarling we’ve had on any reunion of any franchise of Housewives is a lot to play-by-play, so I am going to tie this one up a little differently by assessing our players performance, okay?
Let’s start with Yo; that was sad, no? I am glad they were nice and respectful, but also appreciated that they didn’t completely pass on a real conversation about how she enables The Glands. For all her confidence in what sort of positive energy and loving presence she puts into the world, at times I feel like Yo needs to be a little more self-critical. I suspect that somewhere in the back of her head there’s at least a teeny-tiny bit of fear that if she really drops the hammer on The Glands (which she ought to), she’s gonna git it like everyone else.
But more than anything, I can’t help but question whether the state Yo is in is altogether her condition, or at least partly overmedication. She’s gotten pretty testy in the past few weeks as traditional medical professionals have questioned her treatment (and even her diagnosis), so far be it from me to chime in with doubts, but she’s certainly got a lot of something on board and it’s not just vitamins. Didn’t Avril Lavigne recently come out and say she also has been suffering from Lyme Disease? What sort of ticks do they have in LA? I know a lot of people who live deep in forests full of deer and not one of them has Lyme Disease. Anyway, poor Yo, and I hope she gets sent in the right direction soon because where she’s at doesn’t look good to me.
Moving on to Lady Pump: not much to say about Lady Pump this reunion, unlike last, other than that peuce thing was the single ugliest dress I’ve ever seen. Certainly on Housewives, possibly in my life.
Horrible color, old lady cut – talk about ice skater! Just did nothing for her whatsoever. Jewelry was disappointing as well. I think Stassi revenge-styled her.
Eileen: I did not like this hair:
I like this hair:
Dress appears to be from the Mo Singer for HSN Kollection. Anyway, Eileen didn’t have much more to add to this reunion than Lady Pump. Will she be back? I liked her, more than I expected to, and I think she brings a lot of normal to this operation (she drives a Flex, for God’s sake!), which may or may not work under the circumstances. I kind of feel like Eileen and Lipsey are in or out as a unit.
The Glands: I don’t even want to talk about her, but I will. What has she done to her face now? It’s like only the skin around the lips has nerve stimulation. Lips themselves are too stuffed to bend, and the rest of the face is frozen. She has got to get a higher-quality derm. And I am so tired of hearing her whiny shrieks, and so over the fact that she dishes shit out that she just can’t take, because, you know, her kids. And the deflections, and the viciousness, and the crassness. She is a pest, and played out, and I really hope somebody blinks because she’s making this show irredeemably tiresome for the other ladies and the viewers. The crack about Lady Pump wishing she’s the one who knocked boots with Amsterboy was just gross. I felt for Eileen. I wanted to send her a Crazy Creek so she could sit on the floor on the other side.
Most of the action, obviously, was with the Richards Sisters, and it was just painful to watch. (As was Kim’s decrepit appearance, all the more haggard in comparison to her sister who looked oddly, if well, refreshed and smoothed over. I don’t know what exactly Kyle is doing but it looks good, in sort of a bewildering way as she is looking less and less like Kyle for it…) So much is going on here, well beyond the context of this show, and it seems to me that in The Glands Kim has finally found someone who will validate her at every turn. Kim is like an old person who has fallen under the influence of a plotting caregiver and has changed her will to make them the sole beneficiary.
So either we’re only getting a fraction of the story here, or Kim has basically chosen The Glands and The Dog over The Sister, out of no small degree of anger and spite, which has left Kyle bewildered and betrayed. I can’t blame her one bit. (And I seriously don’t believe for a second that Kathy is such a wonderful, better sister; I think she’s too full of herself to overly involve herself in Kim’s business, so their relationship is more of a lightweight association with the occasional free meal thrown in.) I am not going to get into the Pit Bull issue, as I know many Pit Bull owners and to a one they feel their beloved pet is victim to bad publicity. All I know is that Pit or not, a dog that bites – ever, let alone repeatedly – is a problem. And an owner who resents and refuses to take responsibility for that beloved animal having a problem aspect is the biggest problem of all.
Kim’s rage that Kyle exposed Kingsley as a problem animal might have been slightly understandable given the vast publicity that inevitably followed, but her absolute refusal to address the situation in any reasonable fashion eliminates any pity I have for her. She doesn’t get to fire cannons at everyone and play the “my kids” card for herself. Her dog is a problem, if she isn’t going to explain how she’s dealing with it then the only reasonable conclusion is that she’s not and the problem continues. That’s not acceptable. (And I can’t help but think she’s been told in no uncertain terms that there’s no “solution” for Kingsley other than putting him down, which is a very sad and tragic result, but also speaks for itself.) I am a total dog person, and cannot imagine being in Kim’s shoes, but if she can’t be moved to deal with it when Kingsley bites her adored niece, who is the person he needs to attack (and what needs to result) before she does something about it? Kyle’s anger level didn’t really make any rational sense until the dog thing came up, but if I were in her shoes I would be furious. Mr. Andy was astounded, and so was I, that the dog is the real issue. The Glands could not have been quieter. It’s hard to enable sometimes, isn’t it? Now that people are suing Bravo for Kingsley’s actions I wonder whether they aren’t going to have to cut the cord with Kim. Kyle might be more interesting without her.
I’m left perplexed by Lipsey altogether. I’ve heard speculation that she was difficult and they don’t want her back, but it seems to me if they want Eileen they are going to have to have Lipsey too, and Lady Pump will stick with her as well. What has she been doing offscreen? On screen she’s timid and backs off in a flash, off she’s on the attack with her iPhone as shield. She can’t seem to make up her mind what confrontation level she’s comfortable with, which seems sneaky. The baloney about her daddy issues? Girl, please. I’d like to meet a woman of her age with a dad of his who doesn’t feel Dad didn’t take her quite as seriously as she would have liked. Best dressed, though. And I do hope she’s back, because I think she’s fun, she seems to have a real side, and the makings of genuine relationships. And I want to know: did she just wear the Depends, or did she test them out?
So that’s that; sucky and disappointing, I know, but this has been unexpectedly unhappy near the end, no? Maybe Mr. Andy can bring Camille back and fire up some good times for season 6.
Next time: back to the Big Apple! I’ll pick up the crazy ladies from one of my favorite cities in a day or two.