Ah May, the magical month in which one Sunday exists for those we love to shower us with brunch and flowers and all kinds of other stuff we don’t really want. All of that stuff is fine and it’s nice that for one day out of the year – or at least for a couple of hours of one day – those around us are forced to appreciate us. But thanks to them, what we really want, what we really need is some time to ourselves. Me time! Elizabeth and I post in this section far too rarely because we don’t have time for Me Time, but this Mother’s Day, let’s vow to create some for ourselves, no matter what it takes.
A woman in my Pilates class just returned from what she described as a blissful six days of a solo vacation. She was in Pittsburgh visiting her family, which may seem dull, but she was without her husband or kids, so it was fantastic! Bliss is never that far away, we just need to create it. She left her husband and three kids home alone for those six days. She reveled in the fact that no one called her mom for six days; she got out of bed in the morning only to grab coffee and the paper and then climbed back in until 10am or so; and, she didn’t have to do anyone’s dirty laundry, drive carpool or listen to whiny complaints about how hungry someone is during that time. Of course, in preparation for her trip, she pre-made lunches, laid out a schedule for her husband, hired a babysitter to relieve said husband regularly, put clothes for the kids’ various activities in separate bags so that everything would be as easy as possible for everyone left in her wake. Childless women in our Pilates class rolled their eyes at her extraordinary preparation, but as a mom, you feel her, even if it’s not your style. Her theory is that she’ll go to whatever great lengths she needs to in order for things to go smoothly in her absence so that she go do it again.
I’ve needed a solo vacation for over a year now and have been putting it off for all kinds of senseless reasons. But in honor of Mother’s Day and knowing that what I really want is Me Time, I just booked a few days in L.A. for myself. My gay husband lives there, a few other friends live there. I’ll stay in a hotel, socialize when I want, go to yoga when I want, eat when I want and enjoy the silence every chance I get. No one will call me Mom for four days and I can’t wait.
So, in honor of yourself, I suggest you go ahead and book a solo trip. Go to Pittsburgh, go to L.A., go to the Motel 6 in the next town over – just go somewhere that you can enjoy the silence and not have anyone call you Mom for a day or two or more. Do whatever it takes to go.
We love these families we’ve created, but as modern mothers and women, we are so dedicated to everything we do on a daily basis that we often forget to take care of ourselves. So, reconnect with yourself, use your given name be it Courtney or Christie or Crazy. Just don’t let anyone call you Mom. That’s what we really want for Mother’s Day.